(Q) Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
(A) Because they have big fingers
What breaks when you say it?
Silence!
How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?
You bump your nose on the ceiling !!
What did the sea say to the sand?
Nothing, it just waved!
How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?
Because you need a ladder to get in !!
What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
Get dressed up, the doctor is taking us out!
Question: What is greater than god? What is more evil than the devil? The poor has it, The rich need it, if you eat it you will die. What is it?
Answer: Nothing
WHAT WOULD YOU CALL A SLEEPING BULL ?
ANSWER :A BULLDOZER
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don't work !!
Q: Which room dose the skeleton mostly hate?
A:The living room.
A frog telephoned the an astrologer and was told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you." The frog said, "That's great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," said the astrologer, "Next term -- in her biology class
Where did the fat whale go?
To the 'whale way' station !!!
Why Did the Rooster refuse to fight ?
Because he was Chicken...!!!!
A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things - chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to amuse him with. Finally, the uncle had an idea. "Why don't you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go shooting?" This seemed to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off he went, dogs in trail. After a few hours, the nephew returned. "How did you enjoy that?" asked the uncle.
"It was great!" exclaimed the nephew. "Got any more dogs?"
What pie can fly ?
A Magpie!!
Q: How do you know when a clock is hungry?
A: It goes back for seconds!!!
Question: If a rooster laid an egg on a cone shaped roof which way would the egg roll?
Answer: roosters can't lay eggs !
Where does an Eskimo pig live?
In a Pigloo !!
What do you get when 2 strawberries meet?
A strawberry shake.
What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What has four legs but can't walk?
A table.
What kind of beans never grow in a garden?
Jelly beans.
What kind of flowers grow on your face?
Tulips (2 lips).
When are cooks mean?
When they beat the eggs and whip the cream.
Which is faster---hot or cold?
Hot---You can catch a cold.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have any guts.
Why is a math book sad?
It has so many problems.
Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
A: "Dam."
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Q: What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk?
A: Chocolate chimp cookies.
Q: What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
A: French flies.
Q: What is a little dog's favorite drink?
A: Pupsi-cola.
Q: What is the first letter in yellow?
A: Y. Because I want to know.
Q: Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side?
A: He's all-right now!
What kind of keys do kids like to carry?
Coo-kies!
Q: What do monsters make with cars?
A: Traffic Jam
Q: What do you call the elephant witch doctor?
A: Mumbo Jumbo
Q: Why did the pony cough?
A: He was a little hoarse!
Q: How do you know when a dog has been naughty?
A: It leaves a little poodle on the carpet!
Q: Where do Aliens keep their sandwiches?
A: In a Launch box
Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with!
Why don't traffic lights ever go swimming?
Because they take too long changing!
Why can't you starve in a desert?
Because of all the "sand which is" there!
What did one candle say to the other candle?
Lets go out tonight!
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot!
What does Tarzan sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells!
Why did the man run around his bed?
To catch up on his sleep!
What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
Post Office!